What Can We Actually Do About Baby Sleep? (Pt.2)
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The Tiny Big Joys Podcast | Guest: Lucy | Host: Olivia
Part 2 is the "so what can we actually do?" half. Part 1 was about what's normal. This one is the practical side, gentle and realistic, with no cry-it-out and no rigid plan. Lucy Bagwell explains what working with a holistic sleep consultant actually looks like, then goes through the building blocks: a bedtime routine simple enough to do on a tired Tuesday, helping a newborn tell day from night, sleep pressure, and how to handle nap transitions without guessing. She speaks openly about separation anxiety at bedtime, feeding to sleep, night weaning and the myth of "bad habits". Three listener questions bring it back to real life: nursery naps for a 13-month-old who has always been breastfed to sleep, the baby who sleeps in the cot until midnight and then wakes every hour, and an 8.5-month-old with false starts. And then the red flags worth getting checked, and why how your baby sleeps is never a measure of how well you're doing. This episode covers sleep consultations, bedtime routines, day and night, sleep pressure, nap transitions, the two-to-one nap, the seven-to-10-month developmental stage, separation anxiety, settling options, feeding to sleep, night weaning, habits, childcare and nursery naps, early-hours bed sharing, sleep cycles in the second half of the night, and red flags.
Instagram @thetinybigjoys
Lucy Bagwell is a certified gentle and holistic infant sleep consultant (Level 6 OCN), based in South East London, a mum of two and the founder of Second Star to the Right Sleep. Her fascination with sleep started with the birth of her son, whose early months were shaped by colic, discomfort and a lot of conflicting advice. She moved into the sleep world when he was about a year and a half. She now works one-to-one with families all over the world, through one-off calls and in-depth 90-minute consultations, alongside guides, webinars and weekly Q&As on social media. Her support is built on one firm principle: no cry-it-out. It looks at the whole child, including red flags, feeding, temperament, development, family logistics and goals, rather than only how a baby falls asleep.
Instagram @secondstartotheright_sleep
Key Takeaways
A good plan is partly organic. Lucy's support isn't a day-by-day sleep training schedule. It starts from the whole picture, moves at your pace, and you can stop whenever you feel done.
Start with a simple bedtime routine. For a young baby, a sleepsuit, a familiar song, a noise machine and a feed is enough. It will grow as your baby does.
No part of a bedtime routine is compulsory. Reading at bedtime is only good if it's good. If the bath winds your baby up, it's okay to read the room and change it.
Keep daytime light and nights dark. Newborns don't need to nap in a blackout room, and you shouldn't be stuck in the dark either. Get outside, enjoy daylight and normal noise, then keep nights darker and quieter.
Sleep pressure is simply tiredness. A little one's "tank" fills up quickly, so they need naps. As they grow, the tank stretches and naps drop away.
There's only so much sleep in 24 hours. You never have to cap naps, but if your baby sleeps a lot in the day, expect a later bedtime or more time awake at night.
Signs a nap transition is coming: fighting naps, shorter naps, battling bedtime, split nights or early rising. Look for a pattern, not a one-off.
Never make a big change after one bad night. One or two rough nights could be anything. Keep things the same for a few days before deciding what's working.
Cap before you drop. In the two-to-one transition, capping nap one often makes nap two possible. If you get stuck late in the afternoon, a short cap nap takes the edge off.
Seven to 10 months is developmentally wild. Object permanence, separation anxiety, weaning and teeth all at once. If this stage feels like the hardest, you're not alone.
At bedtime, act like you're never leaving. During separation anxiety, slow down and be fully present. Calm presence is what helps a baby relax. Extra floor time and connection, like co-bathing and skin to skin, help too.
A bedtime routine doesn't need to be long. Some physical play before the bath to get the wiggles out, then about 15 slow, calm minutes afterwards is plenty.
Every way of settling is valid. Feeding, cuddling, rocking, swaying, bouncing, hand holding, back strokes, bum pats or nothing at all. If your baby needs a lot of support, you didn't cause it.
Feeding to sleep is not a bad habit. It's the biological norm and very effective. True independence is born out of dependence, and self-regulation is built from millions of moments of co-regulation.
Night weaning is your choice, never a must. Lucy doesn't recommend full night weaning before one. After that, it can help many families, but only when it's right for you.
Childcare settling isn't about how you settle at home. Babies who settle independently at home can struggle at nursery, and babies fed to sleep can nap on a mat. Give yourself grace and time.
Starting childcare is a time to lean in, not pull back. Your baby's need level rises when you go back to work, so bed sharing and contact naps can be your moments of reconnection.
The second half of the night is lighter for everyone. There's less deep sleep, less sleep pressure and more need to be close. Early-hours bed sharing is incredibly common, and it doesn't last forever.
Red flags worth checking: mouth breathing and snoring, signs of oral function issues or tension, clicking or discomfort around feeds, and very restless sleep, which can be linked to low iron. Lucy signposts rather than diagnoses, so check with the right professional.
How your little one sleeps is not a measure of how well you're doing. If something doesn't work, you didn't do it wrong. It just wasn't the right thing for your baby.
Lucy's tiny big joy: lying with her toddler while he falls asleep, the one still, quiet moment they share every day.
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