The First Weeks at Home- Newborn Basics Nobody Explains (Part 2)
EPISODE OUT ON YOUR FAVORITE PLATFORM
LISTEN HERE:
The Tiny Big Joys Podcast | Guest: Miranda | Host: Olivia
Part 2 is the honest half. Where Part 1 covered cord care and car seats, this one covers the things that are harder to ask about: the baby who wakes the second you put him down, the crying that peaks just when you thought things were settling, and the moment — home alone, exhausted — when you feel yourself about to break. Miranda Sykes gives an exact, step-by-step plan for that moment, and she is clear that it happens to everybody. She also covers the support structure around a new family: gatekeeping visitors, what a partner should actually say at 3am, and how to build a network from scratch when your own family is far away. And then the things nobody says out loud — intrusive thoughts, not feeling instant love, grieving a birth that didn't go the way you hoped, and a recovery that takes closer to a year than six weeks. This episode covers sleep in the fourth trimester, swaddling safely, the crying peak and when crying needs checking out, the safety plan for an overwhelmed parent, visitors and the 36-week conversation, partner support, practical preparation, building a support network, asking for help, baby blues versus postnatal depression, intrusive thoughts, bonding, birth grief, physical recovery, confidence versus competence, and why the tracker apps might be doing more harm than good.
Instagram @thetinybigjoys
Miranda Sykes is a London-based midwife and lactation consultant, and the founder of Midwife Miranda. She has worked as a midwife in the NHS for over a decade, and after Covid — when so much routine care was stripped back — she started her private practice to give women a hybrid model of care: an add-on, a bolster, alongside the NHS care they were already booked with. She has been running both side by side for the last four and a half years, and added her lactation consultant qualification a couple of years ago. Much of her work, privately and within the NHS, is what she calls demystifying your newborn — helping families tell the difference between a problem and a perfectly normal baby.
Instagram @midwife_miranda
Key Takeaways
Your baby will sleep on you — and that's biology, not a bad habit
Fed, asleep, into the cot, awake again. It's normal: a baby feels safer in your arms than in a cot. Lean into it, and use a sling so you get your hands back.Wake windows have no scientific evidence behind them
Hugely popular, no science in them. Park the whole idea for the newborn weeks.Swaddling: firm at the top, loose at the hips
The point is keeping the arms close to prevent the startle reflex. Leave the hips free to move, and stop once your baby starts rolling.The quiet weeks come first — crying peaks later
The first fortnight is often the calmest. Crying can increase and peak around four to six weeks, and a couple of hours a day can still be normal.When crying does need checking out
Enduring, high-pitched or sounds like pain — get your baby seen. Paediatric A&E if it's relentless. Very unlikely to be anything, but worth knowing.There's a reason evenings are the worst
Their brain has grown at a vast rate all day, and by evening they're done. Crying gets them picked up and regulated — which is exactly what they need.Make a postnatal plan A, B and C before you give birth
Plan B is the one that matters: on your knees, baby won't go down. Decide now who can come and take the baby.The safety plan for the moment you're about to break
Put your baby somewhere safe. Shut the door. Ten deep breaths. Call your SOS friend. Water on your face, two minutes of air. Then go back in. It happens to everybody.Have the visitor conversation at 36 weeks
Gatekeeping family while you're in it is hard, and neither of you will have the capacity to agree on it then.Bunch the visitors into one hour
Everyone comes, everyone goes, and the rest of the day is yours. Staggering them across the day is what wrecks the rhythm.What a partner should actually say at 3am
Not "go to bed, I'll give a bottle" — that can land as dismissal. Try: I hear you. What do you need from me to get us to tomorrow?Set the house up before the baby arrives
Changing stations on both floors, snacks in the same caddy, three-metre chargers, and a grocery delivery with your staples already in the basket.Building a support network from scratch
Peanut for mum friends, and your council's feeding cafés and baby groups. Find them before you give birth, so you already know where to go.Asking for help is a sign of strength, never weakness
No healthcare professional will belittle you for it. Midwife, health visitor, GP, a friend — getting it out is the first step.Baby blues, or something more? The two-week rule
Baby blues lifts. Feelings that are pervasive and enduring past a couple of weeks are the point to escalate — and you never have to wait that long to talk to someone.Intrusive thoughts happen to almost everybody
Really frightening ones. They're extremely common, and that's exactly why they're worth saying out loud.Partners are often the first to notice
Raise it with her gently first. Partners can also speak to the GP, midwife or health visitor themselves.Not feeling instant love is more common than anyone admits
Connection grows through time spent learning each other — hours, days, weeks, sometimes months. In Miranda's experience it has happened for everyone.Grieving the birth you didn't have
Utter joy and complete distress can be true at once. If it's getting in the way of bonding, there are services that help with both at the same time.Recovery takes over a year, not six weeks
Bleeding eases gradually rather than in a straight line. Gentle ten-minute walks help body and mind. And keep water where you sit.The thing everyone worries about: the first poo
Fluids, fibre, privacy — and let the pressure build rather than forcing it. Books under your feet so your knees sit higher than your hips.Everybody is winging it — so put the tracker apps down
Every first-time parent has imposter syndrome. Apps help while your brain is foggy, but past a few weeks they dampen your instinct.If you take one thing away
Don't buy the gadgets. Keep the first weeks small, decide things together — and Miranda's own tiny big joy: skin to skin, all day, every day, for both of you.
Book The Tiny Big Joys - Pregnancy & Birth: Questions from Parents Like You is now available
Created by The Tiny Big Joys founder Paula Jurvanen, this warm and reassuring book brings together real experiences, expert guidance and some of the most loved conversations from the original podcast series. It was written for parents who want honest support without pressure, fear, or overwhelming advice.
If you’ve been wanting someone to walk you through what to expect and what to consider, this book is for you.
By supporting the book, you’re also helping us continue creating more free podcast conversations and expert episodes for parents around the world.
You can order the book directly through THIS LINK.
Join the Conversation & Support the Show
Your voice matters to us! This podcast is built for you, and we want you to help shape its future. By joining our newsletter community, you get a direct line to our team to share comments, suggest topics, and ask questions for our future guests. Plus, you’ll be the first to know when a new episode drops.
If you found value in today’s episode, the greatest compliment you can give us is a share. Whether you send this to a friend who needs to hear it or post about it on your social media, your word-of-mouth support is the engine that allows us to keep creating deeply impactful content like this. We are just beginning this journey, and we are so grateful to have you with us from the start. Thank you!