Olivia - First Year Of Motherhood
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The Tiny Big Joys Podcast | Guest: Olivia | Host: Paula
Seats swapped. After Olivia interviewed Paula about the story behind The Tiny Big Joys, this week founder Paula turns the microphone on host Olivia — because before she starts asking our experts your questions, we thought you should know she's figuring out the very same things you are. Olivia had always known she wanted to be a mum, but the timeline she pictured wasn't the one she got: a few weeks after getting engaged in Mexico, she was pregnant. What followed was a pregnancy spent worrying not about the baby but about the change in herself, a birth that took a different route than planned, a breastfeeding start that hurt for nine weeks before it clicked, and a baby who woke every hour for four months. It also brought friendships she didn't expect, the joy of weaning, a first "bye-bye" that made her cry, and a confidence she never saw coming. This episode covers expectations versus reality, losing and finding yourself in the first year, painful breastfeeding and the pride around formula, making peace with a birth that didn't go to plan, the sleep saga and what actually helped, co-sleeping, the tiny things that turned out to be the big things, why Olivia joined The Tiny Big Joys, how to handle everyone's advice, and the one thing every exhausted mum needs to hear.
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Olivia is the host of The Tiny Big Joys and mum to Alfie, who turned one in July. She grew up in the UK with a close bond to her own mum and a childhood full of the outdoors, and spent her younger years as an international ski racer — the mountains are still where she feels most herself. Alfie arrived a few weeks after she and her fiancé Justin got engaged, and her first year of motherhood has been shaped by a painful breastfeeding start, a birth that changed course halfway, and months of hourly night wakes. With two older sisters who each have three children, she has never been short of advice — which is exactly why she wanted to help build a show that gets answers straight from the experts. She recently returned to work after a full year of maternity leave and now asks our expert guests the questions listeners send in.
Key Takeaways
Wanting to be a mother and feeling ready are two different things
Olivia and Justin had just got engaged in Mexico and were picturing a wedding first, a baby later. A few weeks later she took a test and the timeline changed — overwhelming, not because she didn't want it, but because it arrived on a different schedule to the one in her head.It's often not the baby you're scared of — it's the change in yourself
Olivia remembers crying to Justin early on: being a mum doesn't worry me, I'll be fine at that part. What scared her was the rest — a career she loves on pause, less spontaneity, a social life that would look different. If that's where your head is too, it doesn't mean you're not ready. It means you're paying attention.The birth doesn't have to go to plan to be the best day of your life
Olivia planned a midwife-led, low-intervention birth. Midway through she was moved to the doctor-led unit and had an epidural, an instrumental delivery and an episiotomy. She still felt confident in every decision — and describes meeting Alfie as the happiest she has ever been. Both things can be true: the hardest day and the best day.Everything slows down — and that can be a gift
Olivia is the always-busy type, and suddenly the whole purpose of a day was feeding, holding and caring for one small person. Rather than fighting that, she welcomed it — and started noticing a hot coffee and an afternoon of giggles in a way she never had before.Breastfeeding can hurt at the start — and asking for help is not failing
Alfie's latch was painful from day one, and for eight or nine weeks Olivia was often crying through feeds, reluctant to consider formula, feeling she was failing. What changed it: a lactation consultant, a lot of reading, and one day when it simply stopped hurting. If feeding hurts, get support early.It can take weeks to make peace with your birth — and that's normal
Everyone asks how the birth went, and Olivia found herself filtering what to tell each person while quietly feeling she had failed. It took weeks and a lot of tears to come to terms with it. Your birth story is allowed to take time.Some babies just don't sleep — and it isn't something you're doing wrong
From December to March Alfie woke every hour — twelve to fifteen times a night, leaving Olivia with four broken hours and mornings she couldn't see through. Gentle sleep training helped, then crawling, teeth and illness reset it all. He's one and still wakes twice. A lot of it, she's decided, is simply his temperament.The routine that works may not be the "right" one
Olivia expected a cot baby who'd wake once or twice; instead co-sleeping became a saviour and a complete change of view. The bedtime routine changed too — some babies have energy to burn, so Alfie crawled laps down the corridor before bed. Follow safer-sleep guidance, then do what works for your family.It can, and it will, get better
There were months of asking why me, why do my friends' babies sleep. Olivia is through the other side of that now. Paula has been there too — Mila woke hourly from four to eight months, and the sleep episodes of the Finnish podcast became the most listened-to of all.The best parts are often the ones you didn't plan
The mum friends, and both sisters having babies the same year. Weaning, which she'd worried about, became the most joyful part of her maternity leave. And it wasn't a big milestone that undid her — it was an ordinary morning when Alfie waved and said "bye-bye" for the first time.Motherhood can make you more confident
A year that stretched her patience and pushed her to her limits left Olivia thinking: I could achieve anything. Returning to work proved she can still be a mum and still do a job she loves. You don't go back to who you were — you grow into someone new.Say thank you, then take it away — and don't judge yourself either
The best advice Olivia got while pregnant: everybody will have an opinion, so say thank you, take it away, and decide what feels right for your family. It's how this podcast works too — an option to consider, not the way you have to do it. And Paula's other half of it: don't judge yourself either.Too much information makes you stop trusting yourself
Instagram, AI, friends, relatives — there's an opinion on everything, and when you're struggling it's impossible to know who to trust. The real cost is that you tune out your own instinct. That's why Olivia said yes to this podcast: answers straight from the experts.If you take one thing away
Even in the really difficult times, there are always pockets of joy. Olivia's right now is the nursery pick-up — a grin, arms around her neck, one big cuddle after a long day. Find your pocket, and let it count.
Book The Tiny Big Joys - Pregnancy & Birth: Questions from Parents Like You is now available
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