The Questions No-One Answered - The Tiny Big Joys Story
EPISODE OUT ON YOUR FAVORITE PLATFORM
LISTEN HERE:
The Tiny Big Joys Podcast | Guest: Paula | Host: Olivia
This week we're doing something a little different. Instead of an expert, Olivia turns the microphone on Paula — the founder of The Tiny Big Joys — and goes right back to the beginning. Two weeks after telling her partner they weren't ready for a baby, Paula was pregnant. What followed was a pregnancy full of questions nobody was answering, a genuine fear of birth she had carried for years, and the single class that changed all of it. That gap in information became a podcast that reached number one in the parenting category in Finland and was recommended by public health services — and five years after the last episode, thousands of mothers were still listening. This episode covers an unplanned-but-wanted pregnancy, fear of birth and where it comes from, the pregnancy symptoms nobody talks about, why every mother deserves access to good information, what AI can never give a new parent, the good enough mum, comparison, being present, and the one thing every pregnant listener needs to hear.
Instagram @thetinybigjoys
Paula is the founder of The Tiny Big Joys and the creator of the original Finnish parenting podcast Onnen Kuplia, which became the number one show in its category in Finland and was later recommended to new parents by Finnish public health services. After her own pregnancy left her searching online chat forums at two in the morning for answers nobody official would give her, she began organising events for expectant mothers — and quickly realised the information shouldn't be reserved for the few who could afford to attend. She is the author of The Tiny Big Joys – Pregnancy & Birth: Questions from Parents Like You, and now builds the English-language show with hosts from the UK and the US.
Key Takeaways
Nobody feels ready — and the timing is never perfect Paula and her partner had agreed they weren't ready and would revisit the conversation in a year. Two weeks later, everything changed. She was pregnant outside the fertile window, at a point in her cycle where it shouldn't have happened. Wanting to be a mother and feeling ready to be one are two different things, and very few people ever get both at the same time.
Fear of birth usually comes from what we've watched, not what our bodies can do Four years before her own pregnancy, Paula cried out of fear for a friend who was preparing to give birth. She faints at the sight of blood and at needles. The fear, she believes, came from the images of birth we absorb from television and video — the screaming, the crisis, the pain a woman is expected to endure — and from the belief that she simply wouldn't be able to do it.
Understanding the physiology is what turns fear into trust A midwife and doula explained what actually happens in the body during birth, how it progresses, and which hormones help you through it. The reframe that changed everything: this is not the same as cutting your finger. It is physiology, and the body is built for it. That single class moved Paula from terrified to trusting her own body — and she was ready to do it again a week after giving birth.
Nobody talks about bleeding and cramping in early pregnancy Everyone warns you about nausea. Almost nobody mentions that bleeding and strong cramps can happen and can be entirely normal. Paula had both, called the health service, and was told to wait and see — maybe it's a miscarriage, maybe it isn't. The only reassurance she could find was other mothers in online chat forums saying they'd been through the same thing. (If you are experiencing bleeding or pain in pregnancy, always contact your midwife or doctor — reassurance and medical advice are not the same thing.)
Good information shouldn't be a privilege Paula started by organising events for pregnant women with expert speakers. The experts were so good that she found herself uncomfortable with the format: this shouldn't be reserved for the handful of people who can afford a three-day event. The podcast began purely from the idea that every mother should have access to it — and it was built from the questions listeners sent in themselves.
Evergreen beats viral Five years after recording her last Finnish episode, with no social media activity at all, Paula looked at her podcast data and found thousands of mothers still listening. Content built around real questions doesn't expire when the algorithm moves on. That discovery is what convinced her to bring the show to an English-speaking audience.
AI can give you data — it cannot give you experience AI will repeat the medical textbook answer instantly and accurately. What it cannot do is tell you what a mother actually goes through, or bring the emotional nuance of someone who has sat with hundreds or thousands of families through the same moment. In an era where information is infinite, lived experience is the thing that has become scarce.
Average is really good The internet rewards extremes, because nothing provocative gets ignored and nothing moderate gets attention. But a new parent doesn't want the loudest opinion — they want to know if what they're going through is normal. As Paula puts it: if everything is average with your baby, everything is really good. Your baby is healthy, and you're probably doing really well.
You don't have to do everything, and you don't have to be perfect During maternity leave Paula wanted to hold the baby and look her in the eyes and do everything good for her development — and keep the kitchen clean, and cook for her partner, and make every bit of baby food from scratch. The shift came when she started leaving the kitchen. If resting or being with the baby matters more that day, do that. If the kitchen is dirty, who cares. For anyone used to being the good girl who does things properly, this is the one worth hearing: you don't have to do it all, and you are still doing really well.
Comparison is the fastest way to feel like a bad parent A friend of Paula's always had the latest information, knew every event happening locally, and took her baby everywhere. Paula started to wonder whether she was a lesser mother for not doing the same. She isn't, and neither are you. Every baby, every mother and every family is different — what matters is what works for yours, not what your neighbour, your friend or your feed is doing.
Being present is the whole practice — and it's not just for mothers Paula describes herself as an achiever who tends to do too much. Her ongoing challenge is leaving work behind when she walks through the door and sitting down at the dinner table without carrying the day with her. It applies to every parent, not only mums.
If you take one thing away Trust yourself. Trust your instincts with your baby and with your family. Stop trying to do too much, stop doubting yourself, and trust that you are doing really well exactly as you are.
Book The Tiny Big Joys - Pregnancy & Birth: Questions from Parents Like You is now available
Created by The Tiny Big Joys founder Paula Jurvanen, this warm and reassuring book brings together real experiences, expert guidance and some of the most loved conversations from the original podcast series. It was written for parents who want honest support without pressure, fear, or overwhelming advice.
If you’ve been wanting someone to walk you through what to expect and what to consider, this book is for you.
By supporting the book, you’re also helping us continue creating more free podcast conversations and expert episodes for parents around the world.
You can order the book directly through THIS LINK.
Join the Conversation & Support the Show
Your voice matters to us! This podcast is built for you, and we want you to help shape its future. By joining our newsletter community, you get a direct line to our team to share comments, suggest topics, and ask questions for our future guests. Plus, you’ll be the first to know when a new episode drops.
If you found value in today’s episode, the greatest compliment you can give us is a share. Whether you send this to a friend who needs to hear it or post about it on your social media, your word-of-mouth support is the engine that allows us to keep creating deeply impactful content like this. We are just beginning this journey, and we are so grateful to have you with us from the start. Thank you!